User talk:Wolf Of Darkness555
Welcome Hi, welcome to Creepypasta Wiki! Thanks for your edit to the Twilight Bloodfur page. Please be sure to check out all the Site Rules, as it is important to follow them. Failure to abide by them may result in your account being blocked. Read some new pastas by checking out or browse by topic by checking out the Genre Listing. Please leave a message on my talk page if I can help with anything! ImGonnaBeThatGuy (talk) 13:06, July 14, 2014 (UTC) RE: Your Pasta I did not delete your story. That was done by EmpyrealInvective. I would recommend talking to him about it. The deletion reason he stated was that it was cliche. Looking it over, I have to agree. Video games that are altered to have tons of gore and dead bodies are extremely over done. Other stuff, like the game knowing the player's name, being haunted in real life by things from the game. It is very cliche. It's hard to recommend a way to fix something like that, because it's a problem with the story itself. My best suggestion, and unfortunately it's not a very helpful one, is to try again with a different story. I suppose you could try to tell this story in a different way, but you need to put some major work into it. Aside from being cliche, there are storytelling issues. It starts very weak, you don't need a backstory about how a previous copy of Skyrim was destroyed and the player gets a new one because of insurance money. That's all unnecessary. They could just be buying a pre-owned copy of Skyrim because they never had one. They know it's not right because they've played their friend's copy. You don't have much build-up, no real plot, not a lot of effective description. The story more or less reads as: the game was weird, there were dead bodies everywhere, then I encountered this monster. That doesn't really work. It moves too fast, there's nothing to draw the reader in. It's hard to say how to do this kind of story well, because it's extremely difficult. Video game pastas have no real stakes. It's hard to build tension because what does it matter if a video game character dies? I'm sorry that I can't be more helpful, when I critique I try to tell people how they can do things more effectively, but with VG stories that's so hard to do that I can't offer advice. You might want to try the SomeOrdinaryGamers wiki. Their whole jam is VG stories, they will be a lot more open to it and might be able to help you more. Don't re-post it. If you do take another crack at it, copy and paste the story onto pastebin.com, go to Deletion Appeal (make sure you read the top to see how to format an appeal) and put the pastebin link in your appeal. That way whoever reviews the appeal can see the revised version. If you just try to re-post it, there's a good chance it will be deleted immediately for being a re-upload. --ImGonnaBeThatGuy (talk) 19:21, July 16, 2014 (UTC) The Blooody Chimera I'll be honest, while your story wasn't anything special, I thought it was at least salvageable. If I was a mod I kind of doubt I would have deleted it (I'm not obviously). I'd say add some more details to make the monster stand-out from the crowd more, change the ending so that he isn't taking the time to write in his journal while the chimera is coming up the stairs, and submit it to the Writer's Workshop before posting.WatcherAzazel (talk) 01:55, July 17, 2014 (UTC) No, it will not be deleted on the Writer's Workshop. That would defeat the purpose of the forum. LOLSKELETONS (talk) 01:58, July 17, 2014 (UTC) Glad you liked my story, btw.WatcherAzazel (talk) 02:28, July 17, 2014 (UTC)